Part 011 · CHAPTER 5: What She Told Them | 1 of 3

CHAPTER 5

What She Told Them

Nora's older sister had not finished adjusting the microphone when she looked at Leah Brogan and said, "Do I have to read the exact message out loud?"

Brogan stopped beside the prosecution table.

Judge Bell answered before the prosecutor could.

"If counsel asks about an admitted communication and the question is allowed, you will need to answer it," she said. "Take your time. If you do not understand a question, say so."

The witness nodded, then pressed her fingertips to the edge of the stand.

Darius opened his notebook to a clean page.

The courtroom had spent the previous week on physical things: a route, a locked door, an open window, injuries that could be described but not made to explain themselves. This morning the evidence was words Nora had used before any of that happened. Words to family. Words to doctors. Words that did not match perfectly.

Brogan began with ordinary foundation questions. The witness identified herself as Nora's older sister and confirmed that they had spoken frequently during Nora's illness. Some conversations happened by phone. Some happened in person. Some were text messages that had been preserved and authenticated from their phones.

"Were you aware that Nora was receiving psychiatric treatment?" Brogan asked.

"Yes."

"Did she talk to you about why?"

The sister looked toward Nora for the first time.

"Some of it."

Brogan did not ask what some meant yet. She established the hospitalization, calls after discharge, and the fact that the sisters remained in contact through medication changes and periods when Nora seemed somewhat better.

"Did she ever describe thoughts about the children that frightened you?"

The witness's hand tightened around the edge of the stand.

"Yes."

"What did she say?"

"At first she called them flashes."

"Flashes of what?"

The witness looked down.

"Of hurting them."

A sound came from the gallery, small enough that Darius could not tell whether it was a breath or a suppressed sob.

Brogan waited.

"Did Nora tell you she wanted those thoughts?"

"No. She said she hated them. She was scared of them."

"Did you encourage her to tell her doctors?"

"Yes."

"What did she say?"

The sister swallowed. "She said she had told them she was having bad thoughts."

"Did she tell you she had described the same level of detail to them that she described to you?"

Hale stood. "Objection. Calls for the witness to compare conversations she did not hear."

"Sustained," Judge Bell said.

Brogan nodded. "What, if anything, did Nora tell you about what she was willing to disclose to her doctors?"

The witness closed her eyes for a moment.

"She said she wasn't telling them everything."

Darius wrote the sentence and stopped his pen before adding anything after it.

Brogan went to the exhibit.

The first message appeared on the courtroom monitor without any surrounding thread beyond what the judge had admitted. A timestamp sat above it. The text was short.

I keep getting flashes where I hurt them. I don't want to. I hate even typing this.

The sister stared at the screen.

Brogan asked, "Is that a message Nora sent you?"

"Yes."

"Did you respond?"

"Yes."

The next admitted line appeared.

A thought isn't an action. Please tell the doctor exactly what you're seeing.

The witness covered her mouth with one hand, then lowered it.

"I wish I hadn't written the first part."

Brogan said, "Why?"

Hale stood. "Objection to hindsight speculation."

Judge Bell considered it. "She may explain her own state of mind at the time if relevant, but not what would have happened under a different response."

Brogan rephrased. "What were you trying to communicate to Nora when you wrote that?"

"I was trying to calm her down. And get her to tell the doctor. Both."

"Did you believe telling her a thought was not an action meant she should keep the thought private?"

"No. The next sentence says tell the doctor."

"What did you do after that?"

The sister's eyes dropped again. "I kept telling her to tell them more. And I kept trying to calm her down at the same time."

"Why both?"

"Because she said she wasn't going to do anything. Because I wanted to believe she knew the thoughts were thoughts."

Her voice broke on the last word.

Judge Bell asked if she needed a moment.

"No."

The answer came too quickly. The judge waited anyway.

Brogan moved to a later exchange. This one was not displayed immediately. She asked the witness about a phone call first.

"Did Nora ever tell you why she was reluctant to disclose everything?"

"Yes."

"What did she say?"

"That they could take the kids."

"Who was they?"

"Doctors. Social workers. Whoever got involved if they thought the children weren't safe."

Hale stood. "Objection to the witness supplying who Nora meant."

Judge Bell nodded. "Sustained as to the witness's interpretation. The jury will consider the words attributed to the defendant as admitted."

Brogan turned back. "What exact words do you remember Nora using?"

The sister took a breath.

"She said, 'If I tell them everything, they'll take the kids.'"

Darius's pen stopped halfway through take.

Brogan asked whether there was a text message consistent with that concern.

The witness nodded.

The next exhibit appeared.

I can't say all of it in an appointment. Once it's in the chart I can't take it back and then what happens to the kids?

Nobody in the jury box moved for several seconds.

Darius copied the message nearly word for word, then drew a box around chart before he could decide whether that was the word that mattered.

Brogan said, "Did you tell Nora not to disclose because you were afraid she would lose the children?"

"No. I told her to tell them."

"Every time?"

The sister flinched as if the question had landed physically.

"I don't know. I tried. Sometimes I told her to call the doctor. Sometimes I told her to sleep and see how she felt in the morning. Sometimes I told her she was a good mother because she was terrified she wasn't. I didn't know which thing I was supposed to say."

Brogan's voice softened. "Did you understand how serious the risk was?"

"I understood she was sick."

"That wasn't my question."

The sister looked at her. "Then no. Not the way I understand it now."

Hale rose. "Objection to the implication that the witness now knows Nora's mental state at the time."

Judge Bell sustained it.

Brogan stepped back from the stand.

"Did Nora ever tell you she intended to kill the children?"

"No."

"Did she ever say she had decided to act on the thoughts?"

"No."

"Did she tell you more about the content of those thoughts than the records you later reviewed showed she told her treating psychiatrist?"

Hale was up again. "Objection. Foundation and characterization of the medical record."

Judge Bell looked toward Brogan. "The medical witness can make that comparison."

Brogan nodded. "Nothing further for now."

Miriam Hale approached slowly.

"You love your sister."

"Yes."

"You loved the children."

The witness's face tightened. "Yes."

"When Nora described flashes of hurting them, did you know the clinical difference between an intrusive thought, an image, an impulse and a delusion?"

"No."

"Do you know that difference now?"

"Not really."

"When you told Nora a thought was not an action, were you trying to make light of what she said?"

"No."

"Were you trying to protect the children from a danger you understood and chose to ignore?"

Brogan stood. "Objection. Argumentative."

"Sustained."

Hale started again. "At the time, did you believe Nora wanted to harm the children?"

"No. I believed she was afraid she might."

"Those were different things to you."

"Yes."

"Did Nora sound proud of the thoughts?"

"No."

"Relieved by them?"

"No."

"She sounded frightened."

"Yes."

Hale let the answer settle.

"You testified that Nora feared losing the children if she told doctors everything. Did you yourself understand that fear?"

"Of course I did."

"Why?"

"Because she was their mother. She told me she felt like everyone was watching whether she could manage. She'd been in the hospital, and she told me she was scared of going back."

Brogan rose. "Objection to the witness explaining Nora's reasons."

Judge Bell said, "The witness may testify to what Nora said and to her own understanding at the time. She may not tell the jury what Nora privately intended."

Hale nodded. "Did Nora tell you she was ashamed of the thoughts?"

"Yes."

"Did she say that was one reason she had trouble saying them out loud?"

"Yes."

"Did she ever say, 'I'm hiding this because I know I'm going to commit a crime'?"

Brogan objected before the sister answered.

"Sustained."

Hale took a breath, then asked, "Did Nora ever tell you that her purpose in limiting what she told doctors was to avoid being stopped from harming the children?"

"No."

"Thank you."

On redirect, Brogan asked only one question.

"Whatever else Nora may have feared or felt, did she tell you that saying everything could cause other people to intervene with respect to her children?"

The sister stared at Brogan for a long moment.

"She told me they could take them."

Brogan sat.

The witness stepped down crying quietly. She did not look at Nora on the way out.

Darius watched the door close behind her and looked at the two messages he had copied into his notes. They proved what had been said. They did not prove the reason one version of the truth had gone to a sister and another to a doctor.